Waiting for a Plan

 It is lovely having a comfortable sleep. No night sweats, no pain, no shifting from side to side, trying to arrive at a comfortable spot. Last night, I had a very comfortable sleep. Today, I hope to have a plan. Any plan will do. Surgery on Monday allows me to contemplate spending time with the grandkids over the weekend, surgery today, allows me to contemplate having answers next week, surgery next week opens the possibility of grandkids coming to visit from the north. 

But, without a plan. The day, which is full on anticipation, becomes crowded with the false idea that "they" have forgotten me. The "they" being my doctors, the surgeons, the electronic reminders that bring my case before the "team". Just as I slept the first night in the 3-hour ER bed, I was completely unaware of the discussions, plans, thoughtful consideration the physicians were giving my case. Today, I will spend my day wondering if they have a plan or have I been forgotten? I try to imagine the surgical team reviewing my case. Does it look routine?, complex?, challenging? or is it just sitting at the bottom of the pile buried by the 17 other cases that got their first. Cases that have already stood in line and waited for their turn. Was the urgency I experienced 7 days ago just because I was in pain? Now that I am comfortable, and at home, and not costing the system anything, now have I been forgotten? 

I don't mind waiting, I just want to use my final pre-surgical days, doing something, other than waiting by my phone. I'd like the kids to visit, take a walk outside and not be afraid that the original torsion will happen again, I'd like to clean the attic, prune my roses, construct Legos with the grand kids. 

Okay, I hope to hear from the surgeons today. I hope there will be a plan. I don't care what the plan is, I just need to know that a good night sleep will end with a morning full of expectation, action and wonder. 

Moving forward is what I do. I get things done. I make lists. Today, I will sit on the couch, read my book and wait for someone else to put me on the surgery schedule according to their plan. 


Just realized my blog name is mis-spelled, F____!  Spelling is such a bother. 

It is supposed to be My Journey In Silk Pajamas not My Jouney in Silk Pajamas. 

Well, at least no one can find it unless they have the link. By the way, please share it if you have someone who is interested, I'm fine with that. And apologize for my mis-spellings. 

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